homesick

This is the first weekend that I have ever let Austin take Charlotte all weekend.  Brooklyn stays with Brandon every other weekend, and I thought I would get a routine going for them both. But Charlie is my baby. And I remember it being hard with Brooklyn. Yesterday, I felt refreshed and renewed... I had coffee with Vanessa and we talked from 9 -1 pm! I completely enjoyed every minute, and I was so glad that I could do it without my kids. It was so nice to shut off mom mode, and just be. 

By the evening, I missed Charlotte terribly. I went to a concert of a band that I love to see play. But I felt homesick for Charlotte and I didn't really want to be there. There I was, in my fabulous thrifted dress and cowgirl boots, perfect make-up, curly hair, and in the company of best friends, and I didn't want to be there! What was wrong with me? A night out with girlfriends and I want to go get my baby and go home?

I love being home with my girls. And sometimes it just takes a weekend apart to appreciate it all the more. One of my most favorite things of all, is peeking in their rooms at night and seeing them fast asleep and then crawling into my own soft warm bed... propping up the pillows, reading by my lamp light, with a cold diet pepsi or a hot coffee on my nightstand. The house is quiet. My quilt is perfect. I am alone and I love it. I spend time with God until my eyes get heavy. There isn't anything better than knowing your babies are safe and fast asleep just a few steps down the hall. In the moments of quiet I have snuggled in my bed, I absolutely love that I am not married. I love that time I have alone with God. I love taking up the whole bed while I sleep. But most of all, I love that I am learning to love exactly where I am in my life. (Years ago nights were when I felt the loneliest.)

Now, I have a whole slew of things that it would be great to have a husband for... that's another post.

We have kindergarten shots tomorrow. (And Charlotte is getting some too.) I am not looking forward to it. I have been telling Brooklyn that it hurts, but only for a minute. I told her if she could be brave that we would go pick out a toy. Stinkin kindergarten shots. Yuck!

I can't wait for my girls to come home.