balancing

{pictures from la madone in Provence, France}

I thought I would woo you with other peoples pretty pictures. Sorry. 

Oh, the balancing act. The balancing act that we all attempt. I wish it were easier. A long time ago someone suggested to me that I look at my time as an investment, and that investing my time in my children will always yield amazing returns. That I will never regret it. That it would always be a great investment. For some reason, I really held on to that. And it helps me, when I consider how financially strained I have been since making the choice to stay home with Charlotte. It will be worth it and I know that. I have to say, I have days when it is hard to imagine ever being financially comfortable again. And then I feel irresponsible. I feel guilty. I feel like I should be working and that I am in no place to continue to stay home with her. But then I imagine dropping her off at daycare every day, and somebody else spending more time with her than I do. I remember that my time is an investment more valuable than money, and that I really am investing wisely. I will work again, and I will have money someday. I won't regret this time I have had to stay at home with my daughters.

I am trying to do lots of things. I am trying to have a weekly girls' night. I am trying to take classes. I am trying to clean my home. I am trying to spend time with my girls. I am trying to go on dates. I am trying to plan fun things to do as a family. I am trying to spend time with my mom and grandma. I am trying to work in family gatherings and friends celebrations and silly adventures. I am trying to study for tests and type papers. I am trying to organize. I am trying to paint rooms. I am trying to clean toilets. I am trying to vacuum and dust. I am trying to gather things for goodwill. I am trying to create my own office. I am trying to edit pictures. I am trying to budget and pay bills.... so many things. Lately, I feel like I am not doing well at the balancing act, and that it would be best if I considered how I am investing my time- and prioritize according to what is most important to me. Put on the brakes... slow down... take a few breaths before I get going again...

This weekend I am going to San Francisco with my mom. I am looking forward to getting away with her. We have the best time together, and I always regard our trips as some of the best times in my life. I can't wait to just enjoy her, laugh with her, over-eat with her, smell the ocean air with her, take pictures with her, just be with her. I am so blessed. God is so so so good to me. My life is full of amazing people and my mom is right there at the top of the list. 

This week, I am slowing down. I am re-evaluating. I am spending time with my girls. I am checking things of the to do list. And hopefully next week, I will be better at balancing less.

Thank you friends.