happy thursday!

(disclaimer: Items photographed in my entry way. I do not like this border. I do not like country blue and rose. I CAN'T WAIT to redo the entry. Until then, please bear with me! :o)

After a long dry spell in my thrifting endeavors, things are slowly starting to get back to normal. I thought I would share my recent finds. I have to be careful when it is half off bric-a-brac day, because I will buy cute little things I don't really need just because they are cute and cheap. 

* The big white tray was a steal for $1!

*The pretty vintage pillowcase is for Brooklyn. Stay tuned for a post about her bedding. :o)

*Cute little cowgirl boots are for my littlest cowgirl!

*Mercury glass candle holders will find a home somewhere around here.

*I loved the old lamp. Of course its shade was dingy and smelled of...well...moth balls and urine.   I will have to find a replacement and try and fancy it up a bit. To paint (the wood parts), or not to paint? The prayer book was my favorite find:
I love the pictures and the wording. I wish I could frame every page. I really thought about framing one/some for my girlies' rooms, but I have a hard time taking pages from books. 

Look at the birdies!

What's a girl to do?

tuesdays unwrapped #2

I woke up this morning to find flowers and a note on my little kitchen table. Austin dropped Charlie off late, I was already in bed. The flowers were a sneaky surprise. Admittedly, things have been tough lately. The future is unknown. But for today, I loved these flowers.

It is the small things that count.

For this Tuesday, I wanted to get down to the *heart* of the matter. I have been thinking a lot about being true to one's heart. I know, sounds totally cliche. Let me try a different approach: I have been thinking about self honesty. It seems to me, that I am most happy when I live honestly. For example: Which is better, working mom or stay-at-home mom? My thoughts: whichever one allows that mother to  live according to what she honestly, in her heart of hearts, wants. If she chooses according to outside influences, (pressures from family members, financial pressures, etc.) she will be uncomfortable. She might still find joy, but her heart will quietly ache for its desire; for honesty. Before I was laid off, I had a nice income. I was financially comfortable. I could afford things and shop and even save a little from time to time. But inside, all I wanted to do was be at home with Brooklyn. Accounting might have been my worst fit. I just wasn't living honestly. The longer I continued to live that way, the harder it was on my spirit. I think, in such a fast paced world, all the noise and change and excitement can drown out the quiet whisper of our hearts. Time passes. More and more, we notice how uncomfortable we really are and yet we can't quite put our finger on why. We grasp at the things that seem to relieve our spirit, even for just a moment. Eventually we realize that we aren't being true to our hearts. 

I have noticed lately that I am just not quite comfortable. There is a tugging at my spirit that just won't let me settle in the space I am in. Last night, during prayer, I realized that I am striving to please everyone else around me. I might be doing a fair job of it. But I am not living in a way that is true to myself. I worry so much about disappointing the people I love. A certain amount of that is healthy. In my case, I feel enslaved to it. I make life decisions based on what others want me to do. This has become my natural resolve- even before talking with God. No wonder my spirit feels sick...

On this Tuesday unwrapped, I have a simple request. I ask that you take a few moments all to yourself. I ask that you quiet the world around you. I ask that you reflect on the space you are in- who shares it? How is your time invested? Are you joyful? Is your spirit being fed? Are you living a life that is honest with your heart? Today I am requesting that you honestly answer a most simple question:

What do you want?

Ignore all the external influences. Don't be selfish- just be genuine. What desires has God placed on your heart? What does the life you live say about the essence of who you are? How can you live more honestly? On this Tuesday, unwrap the simple gifts that were yours all along.

keepin' it real : part 2

Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives, but early the next morning he was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and he sat down and taught them. As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and Pharisees brought a woman they had caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd. "Teacher," they said to Jesus, "this woman was caught in the very act of adultery. The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?"

They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, "All right, stone her. But let those who have never sinned throw the first stones!" Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust. 

When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. Then Jesus stood up again and said to her, "Where are your accusers? Didn't even one of them condemn you?"

"No, Lord," she said.

And Jesus said, "Neither do I. Go and sin no more."

JOHN 8:1-11

(NLT)

I love this. I really really really love this. When I read this passage, I wonder about that woman. In those times, women were bought and sold like property. Daughters were used to advance their families- their beauty was currency. Women had no voice. They were there solely for whatever purpose their husbands wished to put them to. They bore children. Most desirably, they bore sons. I wonder about this woman. What if, she grew up with a boy two homes away?What if she was absolutely beautiful? What if she and that boy fell in love? What if they were best friends? What if the boy adored her? What if her beauty caught the eye of a man with wealth or status? What if she was forced to marry? I suppose these things are irrelevant to the story. The story is about Jesus and the adulteress. You are given everything you need to know. Clearly, having had two daughters outside of marriage, I am what some may call an adulteress. God and I have had many conversations about this part of my life. Even inside of the church, I have felt totally judged for my sin. Stones of a different kind were cast. But here, in this story, I found peace. Anyone willing to judge me for my sin, is assuming an authority that only Jesus has. You know what Jesus said? He said, "Any of you without sin cast the first stone." 

Now for me, this works both ways. It is easy, especially when it is a sin that we don't struggle with, to pass judgement. I have passed unfair judgement. Most certainly, we all have at one time or another. I understand how my sin is interpreted by my fellow followers. I understand the judgement that other people pass. None of them know me like God knows me. None of them have walked in my shoes. That is why I wonder about the adulteress. She had a story. Those people couldn't know her like God knew her. While I find peace in this passage while enduring judgement, I must remember it when I start to pass judgement myself. Jesus did not condemn the adulteress. And that was the perfect thing to do.

Jesus also commanded her to "Go and sin no more." To me, this means that we can start over. We can change, from this point forward, any act that separates us from God. Jesus was protecting her. Hundreds of years later, He is protecting me.

Seriously, why in the world would we weaken each other by condemning one another? By doing so, we ultimately weaken ourselves. And we assume an authority only God has. The irony: ONLY by the blood of Jesus do any of us enter into the Kingdom of Heaven- not by act or deed. And yet, we are all paying such close attention to the acts and deeds...

I want to be more like Jesus. I will try my whole life long. I think it starts with studying what He did during His time here on Earth. I hold His encounter with the adulteress near to my heart. 

 

keepin' it real

I have grown to love the blogs of women that I have found. Reading their stories and seeing their thriftiness and decorating and watching their babies grow... it all blesses me. Confession: I used to have a different blog. This blog carried me through some of the most painful moments of my life. And while I wanted to maintain the facade that life is just a chair of bowlies, as apparently was the case for so many blogs I loved to read, the pain and struggle just spilled out all over my writing. Later, I would read the things I wrote and feel embarrassed that I divulged so much personal information about my life. I wanted to do what all the other moms out there did. I wanted to show you my beautiful kids, my home, my thrifting finds, a few recipes here and there. I never wanted to offer you a window into my reality. I started taking chances. I started being real. A pattern emerged. Every time I would post something real and honest and less then lovely about my life, I would have more comments then I did from the other posts. I inspired people more. People related to my situation. Sometimes, I even helped people. I have been telling my girlfriends that we need to start a facade free women's group/Bible study- and yet on my blog I have been more interested in maintaining the facade than being real. I even started a fresh new blog for that very purpose- stating that I just wanted to keep it light hearted...

Here is your warning. I plan to randomly post about realness. You can find these postings under my "realness" label. I will try to spare you the goriest of details, the TMI type stuff. It won't all be light hearted. Because there is a whole lot more to every woman than her home, her decorating, her cooking, her kids, her husband- and thank goodness this is so! 

Anyway, facades are exhausting. 

i love to play poker

- i went on a date with my littlest lady tonight. brooklyn is out of town with her grandma and most favorite uncle. (he is just a little older than she is. :o)

- i'm thinking of starting on my room. why shouldn't my bedroom be first?

- i am trying to figure out a name for my photography business. i have my first senior shoot. i will be incorporated and everything. in my world, it's kind of a big deal.

- my mom is going to re-teach me how to sew... starting with pretty white slip covers for my sofa/love seat. i'm the master at biting off more than i can chew...

- no matter what, i will have an A in my sociology class. i am very excited about this.

- i haven't started my seeds yet. i plan to tomorrow. hopefully it won't be too late.

- my house is a wreck.

- pottery barn kids magazine arrived today. 

- sometimes i sleep with my Bible in my bed. it gets the other pillow.

- cherry carmex (in the pot) is where it's at.

- i am about two parts dreamer, one part realist. 

- i want to learn to ride a motorcycle.

- i am so very blessed. like, crazy blessed. all around me, God just keeps pouring out the blessings. He is so good. while 2008 (and parts of 2009) was the hardest year of my life, it was also one of my most blessed. i saw God at work. more and more, i think i might be special. i think God has a very super special plan for my life, and my daughters'. may i be so bold as to say, i think He has set me aside to fulfill a warrior's destiny. 

- i am thankful for all of you. you just bless my heart.

- "bless your heart" and "hot diggity dog!" were two of my great grandma Opal's favorite sayings.

estate sale goodness

Here is my estate sale goodness:

These recipes belonged to Doris. I'm not certain, but I got the impression that she passed away. I overheard the ladies running the show talking to a customer about her kid(s?) didn't want to save anything. I will definitely cherish her recipes. These three notebooks, and the little recipe box, are full of all kinds of great recipes. The clippings and dates on the handwritten recipes go back to the 50s. Doris cared enough to save these. She probably made most of them, as she has written notes like: "NOT GOOD" and "Delicious!" by several. When I try some, I will share with you all.
I found a box of vintage baby items and I just couldn't help myself. I'm a sucker for these kinds of things. I love the little shoes and the baby hat with the baseballs with the names of all the major teams. (I might have to give this to my brother, as he collects vintage sports memorabilia.) Wouldn't it be perfect for a little boy's room? He has one on the way. :o)
Apparently, Doris was leaving town for a few days and left the letter on the far left for her daughter. It reads:

My Sweet,

Be a good little girl my Darling.

I love you dear.

Do your school work well while mother is on her trip.

Study your music too please.

Write to me often.

I'll be thinking of you (inserted both here, after the fact) all the time.

Take good care of Daddy. Have a good time together.

Be sure doors are locked at nite. Check on water heater often. 

Drink lots of milk. (double underlined milk :o) Oranges, etc.

Your Darling Mother

She saved several letters and cards. The other letter is dated 1938. I wondered why a daughter wouldn't treasure such things. 

I loved the little purse with millinery in the top left corner. The purse in the top right is very dainty, and very old. I wouldn't begin to know how to date it.

The big grey wood box I bought for a song, and everything else was even cheaper. The vintage baby scale is going in the "baby area" of the girls' playroom. You know, they will need to make sure their babies are growing! The vintage bissel sweeper says "LITTLE QUEEN" on it. It is also for the playroom. (It was from a different sale, but Brooklyn really really wanted me to take its picture too.)

I also bought slightly more than 11 birds. Thirty-four to be exact. A few came with nests. A few were in not so good shape. I love them all. But they won't all stay here. Some will debut at Christmas time. Some will find their way on creative endeavors... 

On a side note, I plan on painting that hutch this summer. I have found some great tutorials from fellow blogging ladies, so stay tuned!

Happy Wednesday!!!

tuesdays unwrapped #1

"Tuesdays Unwrapped" is about the small things. It's about the every day gifts that are so easily taken for granted. It is about taking time to be grateful for those things. Let me start with a story about a Monday.

Yesterday, I overslept. Rushing around to get the girls ready, I yelled at Brooklyn. I was running very, very, very behind. And bless her heart, this child has never had any concept of "hurry up!" Frustrated, I yelled at her. Her face fell. It was my own fault I was running behind. I had forgotten to set my alarm clock.

I got to class (twenty minutes late) and I saw my English teacher write a big "LATE" by my name. My teacher, commonly referred to as the nazi by my younger classmates, has no clue what it takes for me to get to class and to get all her homework done. Many mornings, I would have to head to the campus library at six in the morning to complete an assignment she would shred to pieces. Which is okay. I get it. But every once in a while, when she seems to derive such joy from every half point she can take off, being sure to note every person who walks in late (she will too, at 9:31), when her face gets blotchy with anger because the class isn't participating, every once in a while I just want to tell her that she is wound way to tight. I want to tell her to cut people some slack. And when she makes her comments about God or Religion, in a way that makes it clear that she is definitely not a Christian, I want to use my extensive English vocabulary in ways my Creator wouldn't be proud of. 

Made it through the next class. Called my mom. My feelings got hurt, and apparently full capacity had been reached. Within minutes I was a hot mess- sobbing and complaining and frustrated and angry and stressed and a little broken. At the risk of sounding completely shallow, here is a list of some of things I was a hot mess over:

-tired of being broke 

-tired of not having nice things

-tired of not being able to spoil my daughters

-tired of being mistreated

-tired of my roller coaster relationship

-tired of not being the mother I want to be

-tired of feeling so conflicted about so many things

-tired of not being able to sleep

-tired of school, it seems endless

-tired of feeling like there is no benefit or reward for all the things I invest the most time and energy in 

-overall, just tired of being the way I am

I was talking to her on my cell while driving. (I know, I know.) Just as I was closing up my pity party, I stopped at a stoplight. There was a man holding a sign: LAID OFF AND HOMELESS. PLEASE HELP.

And just like that, God did what He does best. We don't see many homeless people where I live. I knew what He was getting at. Alright Lord. I was sorry.

I got my cry out. Then, a block away from my grandma's, there was an estate sale. I couldn't tell you the last time I shopped an estate sale, as the prices are usually out of my range. I decided to stop, just for the pick me up. I found so many things, things I love, things that bring me joy. Most of the items I found were 25 cents! Thank you Lord. Blessing me, despite my super shallow pity party. If those items cost much more than 25 cents, I wouldn't have been able to buy them. Some of the things I found were exactly what I listed here.

Then, my mom sent me this email:

Meet Katie and Nick. Katie is 21, Nick is 23. They are high school sweet hearts. In the picture below, she is undergoing treatment for cancer.

Here is Katie, getting ready for her wedding. Even through her battle with cancer, she was able to plan her wedding day. Isn't she just absolutely beautiful? 

Nick and Katie and her oxygen tank. Not many of us imagine an oxygen tank being a part of our big day.

At her reception, her new husband and a troop of his buddies sang to Katie. Again, I just think she is so beautiful. Such a beautiful smile...

Of course, the day took its toll. According to the email, Katie can't stand for very long periods of time because of the pain it causes. 

Katie and Nick. The truest love I have ever witnessed within a photograph. 

Katie died five days after her wedding.

There are no words. Every single day is truly a gift. How dare I complain? How dare I carry on with all the self condemnation? How dare I waste a single day in negativity and sadness? Indeed, every day is a gift to be unwrapped. 

 We never know which Tuesday will be our last.